There are certain events in ones life that are just difficult to accept. Things that are common but unprecedented. They are simple events, not very complex to understand, but very hard to swallow. Back in college I thought I was prepared for everything. Little did i know that everything is already prepared for me. All i needed to do was to choose and let others choose.
I avoid some things in my life that have affected me greatly. Events that betray my own expectations of life. Its not hard to understand - everyone understands. Its just really hard to take in. I smile, i make jokes, but deep inside i am confused, angry, hurt, betrayed. The questions, How, and Why. keep on echoing in my head. The world collapsed in an instant. While others have already cleared themselves if the debris, i find myself still knee deep in the dust and dirt, trying to find the answers in the rubble. Turning every stone hoping to find that which is not really there. Others have rebuilt yet i sit on what was. Refusing to accept the the now. Its easy to say move on. Taking the first step is the hardest especially when you don't know where to step and what direction to take.