Social Life

Being distant and reclusive has always been part of me. Not that i dont like being around friends, but oftentimes I much rather be alone. I have found that I could think better when I'm alone. I could reflect on things that cross my mind and be able to, in a way, talk to myself. Don't worry, i don't suffer from multiple personality disorder. Its just that i can imagine myself reacting to the things i think about. Debating with myself helps me get another perspective on things without the aid of another person. Of course having someone else's view point is better, but I also don't like getting dictated on matters that i could decide on my own.

I have realized something lately, I dont have a social life outside my relatives and my church friends and i only get to be with friends on weekends. For most of the week, i go to work and spend most of my time locked up in the office with just a computer to interact with. Sometimes i even find myself getting annoyed by a simple hi or hello from officemates. I much rather they leave me alone. I do enjoy conversations sometimes, but its with people i can easily connect with. I have to say thats a very small group. I have done a pretty good job of keeping things to myself. the only time i can let things out is when i am with the people who i can trust with the things i say. People who can relate to the sometimes outrageous ideas and thoughts.

Seriously! If this goes on and on i might just one day pack up my stuff and go live in the mountains alone. I am thankful though....i still have friends whom i can just blurt out whats on my mind. I cant really put my thoughts here since that would just reveal how i think about humanity in general and i think that would be better in another blog entry.