There are certain events in ones life that are just difficult to accept. Things that are common but unprecedented. They are simple events, not very complex to understand, but very hard to swallow. Back in college I thought I was prepared for everything. Little did i know that everything is already prepared for me. All i needed to do was to choose and let others choose.
I avoid some things in my life that have affected me greatly. Events that betray my own expectations of life. Its not hard to understand - everyone understands. Its just really hard to take in. I smile, i make jokes, but deep inside i am confused, angry, hurt, betrayed. The questions, How, and Why. keep on echoing in my head. The world collapsed in an instant. While others have already cleared themselves if the debris, i find myself still knee deep in the dust and dirt, trying to find the answers in the rubble. Turning every stone hoping to find that which is not really there. Others have rebuilt yet i sit on what was. Refusing to accept the the now. Its easy to say move on. Taking the first step is the hardest especially when you don't know where to step and what direction to take.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Kwaderno
Repost from my mutiply blog. Entered Feb 19, '12 9:25 PM
Hey! I was going through my stuff today and I found the only Kwaderno publication I had. I was going through the pages and i remembered you once told me that you would write for this publication. I dont know if the one i have contains your writing. I went through the pages and i thought maybe one of the poems here was yours. I remember you once told me you never used your name whenever you write. Only problem is I dont know your pen name. I never really asked you about it. Even when you were here I never paid much thought in knowing your alias.
The Kwaderno I have is the 2002 publication, but remember that was the year you left. I guess i was 1 year late because your composition may have been printed in 2001. The book is pretty beat up its been read by a couple of people over the years. I like how its a double sided book. There is no front nor back. You can start reading from any side. The truth is, i haven't read all the contents. Sometimes i just browse through the pictures and wonder how the artists were able to come up with those impressive pencil drawings. The style is still influenced by the 90's. None of those photoshoped, super colorful vector art we often see today. Its gritty yet a work of art, its somewhat chaotic yet you can easily see the thought in each page.
I still envy that you had that publication. I always asked myself, "Why cant we have that too?" It defined who you were. It showed a form of freedom of speech. Like a rebel's yell in a dictatorial government. So radical...
I will never know your pen name now, but I hope one of the poems is yours. So, did your poem get printed in the Kwaderno that i have? I hope so.
Mike
Malunggay: The tree of life....almost
Repost from my mutiply blog. Entered Jul 7, '09 5:32 PM
I was a bit confused last Sabbath about the Malunggay tree being the Horseradish vegetable. I tried researching and apparently, Horseradish is a different plant. It seems my hunch wash right afterall...there is no way that our beloved malunggay is the horseradish. I tried researching some more and apparently, I was also wrong. The malungay that grows almost everywhere in this country of ours, is in fact called the horseradish tree. It could be used as a substitute for horseradish and therefore can be used to make wasabi and kim chi. I also found out a few interesting things about this plant.
1. It can grow almost anywhere, except in freezing lands.
2. It needs little maintenance since it loves the sun and warm weather.
3. All parts of the plant can be used in some way, from food to textile dyes and even poison.
4. Its nutritional value is so high [leaves] that it is one of the answers to malnutrition in third world countries.
5. Its leaves don't lose its nutrients even of dried and ground to powder.
6. Its seeds can be roasted like nuts and is believed to be a virility drug.
7. The plant can be used in water filtration and is a cheap alternative for mechanical filtration.
That's not all, in some countries its used to feed livestock. Personally, I'd rather eat the plant myself than feed it to livestock. In the tagalog region, only the leaves are known to be edible, in the ilocano region however, even the fruit is eaten. The fruit is usually peeled, cut to 3 inch sticks, and cooked in dinengdeng with other vegetables. The leaves are boiled and eaten as a salad in the morning.
After I found out that you can grind the dried leaves to powder, I realized it can be stored indefinitely as survival food. Just add boiling water and you have a soup. Nice huh?
If it wasn't for the Varona's, I would never have known that malunggay, a commonly ignored vegetable tree, could be the answer to our health problems. Mabuhay ang Malunggay!
1. It can grow almost anywhere, except in freezing lands.
2. It needs little maintenance since it loves the sun and warm weather.
3. All parts of the plant can be used in some way, from food to textile dyes and even poison.
4. Its nutritional value is so high [leaves] that it is one of the answers to malnutrition in third world countries.
5. Its leaves don't lose its nutrients even of dried and ground to powder.
6. Its seeds can be roasted like nuts and is believed to be a virility drug.
7. The plant can be used in water filtration and is a cheap alternative for mechanical filtration.
That's not all, in some countries its used to feed livestock. Personally, I'd rather eat the plant myself than feed it to livestock. In the tagalog region, only the leaves are known to be edible, in the ilocano region however, even the fruit is eaten. The fruit is usually peeled, cut to 3 inch sticks, and cooked in dinengdeng with other vegetables. The leaves are boiled and eaten as a salad in the morning.
After I found out that you can grind the dried leaves to powder, I realized it can be stored indefinitely as survival food. Just add boiling water and you have a soup. Nice huh?
If it wasn't for the Varona's, I would never have known that malunggay, a commonly ignored vegetable tree, could be the answer to our health problems. Mabuhay ang Malunggay!
When The Clock Stops Ticking
Repost from my multiply blog. Entered Jun 20, '09 9:37 PM
As the Mahogany trees shed their leaves, he bid farewell to the world of the living. he has finally come to rest after many years of pain. He fulfilled his purpose in this earth with utmost zealousness. I have never met anyone like him and i doubt i will ever again be able to meet anyone like him in this lifetime.
He is a popular artist in our hometown, inventor, craftsman, servant of God. A loving husband, good father, the best grandfather, a great friend. He was a genius. His level of intelligence i can only dream of attaining. His memory, so sharp, he rarely forgot anything. In spite of all these, he was a humble person. Everyone knew him as a gentle and jolly man - one who rarely gets angry. He believed that every conflict can be solved by kind words and earnest prayers.
When i was born, he was one of the happiest people to welcome me into existence. I can imagine the tears he shed when he heard me cry. Those tears were both tears of joy and sadness. Tears of joy for having a grandson, tears of sadness because i wasn’t normal - i had a gaping hole right under my left nostril. My parents cried for me because i might not be able to speak normally. Despite all the uncertainties, they had me fixed. During my operations i know he prayed for me.
As i returned home, he wasted no time teaching me to speak. He told everyone, "I will never stop until he speaks perfectly." He took care of me when my parents were at work. He taught me how to sing, he even made me memorize the cabinet members at that time. I grew up in his house with him as my mentor. He gave me toys that he himself made. Being the inventor that he was, this was no big task. He made those toys with things found around the house. I was so happy whenever he emerged from his shop holding a new gadget for me. Growing up in his house made me his favorite grandson.
He suffered a stroke when i was about to enter grade school. He never recovered from it. This, however, did not hinder him from his duties to the Lord. His mind was still as sharp as ever. I enjoyed talking to him more than playing my Nintendo Family Computer. He was ans still is my inspiration in attaining a higher level of intelligence, though i may not attain his level.
When he passed away, i knew my life would never be the same again. I had hoped to show him my achievements. I wanted to show him my future wife and i wanted him to hold his great grandson from me, but this is no longer possible for he has now gone to his rest. But this is not the end, i know for sure he will rise again on the second coming, for her is the most faithful man i have ever known. One who has experienced miracles in his life, and a lot of them for that matter. Like the mahogany tree that lost its leaves, i know new ones will sprout in its place..its just a matter of time.
I can proudly put him at par with the greatest minds this world has ever produced. But one thing he had more than them is his faith in God. His ideals in faith will live on in me. This will be my tribute to him. By God’s grace, i will do all i can to live as he showed me, and to pass his teachings to the generations that come after me. "Daddy, I will see you soon on that bright morning when Jesus returns."
A tribute to the greatest man i have ever known - Otilio A. Manzano Sr.
As the Mahogany trees shed their leaves, he bid farewell to the world of the living. he has finally come to rest after many years of pain. He fulfilled his purpose in this earth with utmost zealousness. I have never met anyone like him and i doubt i will ever again be able to meet anyone like him in this lifetime.
He is a popular artist in our hometown, inventor, craftsman, servant of God. A loving husband, good father, the best grandfather, a great friend. He was a genius. His level of intelligence i can only dream of attaining. His memory, so sharp, he rarely forgot anything. In spite of all these, he was a humble person. Everyone knew him as a gentle and jolly man - one who rarely gets angry. He believed that every conflict can be solved by kind words and earnest prayers.
When i was born, he was one of the happiest people to welcome me into existence. I can imagine the tears he shed when he heard me cry. Those tears were both tears of joy and sadness. Tears of joy for having a grandson, tears of sadness because i wasn’t normal - i had a gaping hole right under my left nostril. My parents cried for me because i might not be able to speak normally. Despite all the uncertainties, they had me fixed. During my operations i know he prayed for me.
As i returned home, he wasted no time teaching me to speak. He told everyone, "I will never stop until he speaks perfectly." He took care of me when my parents were at work. He taught me how to sing, he even made me memorize the cabinet members at that time. I grew up in his house with him as my mentor. He gave me toys that he himself made. Being the inventor that he was, this was no big task. He made those toys with things found around the house. I was so happy whenever he emerged from his shop holding a new gadget for me. Growing up in his house made me his favorite grandson.
He suffered a stroke when i was about to enter grade school. He never recovered from it. This, however, did not hinder him from his duties to the Lord. His mind was still as sharp as ever. I enjoyed talking to him more than playing my Nintendo Family Computer. He was ans still is my inspiration in attaining a higher level of intelligence, though i may not attain his level.
When he passed away, i knew my life would never be the same again. I had hoped to show him my achievements. I wanted to show him my future wife and i wanted him to hold his great grandson from me, but this is no longer possible for he has now gone to his rest. But this is not the end, i know for sure he will rise again on the second coming, for her is the most faithful man i have ever known. One who has experienced miracles in his life, and a lot of them for that matter. Like the mahogany tree that lost its leaves, i know new ones will sprout in its place..its just a matter of time.
I can proudly put him at par with the greatest minds this world has ever produced. But one thing he had more than them is his faith in God. His ideals in faith will live on in me. This will be my tribute to him. By God’s grace, i will do all i can to live as he showed me, and to pass his teachings to the generations that come after me. "Daddy, I will see you soon on that bright morning when Jesus returns."
A tribute to the greatest man i have ever known - Otilio A. Manzano Sr.
Teleporter
Repost from my multiply blog. Entered Jun 20, '09 9:35 PM
"Are you running away from someone?"
"Something"
"Your Past?"
"My present."
"Where are you going?"
"To the future."
"Why? What’s in the future?"
"I dont know. Thats why im going there..to find out."
"Something"
"Your Past?"
"My present."
"Where are you going?"
"To the future."
"Why? What’s in the future?"
"I dont know. Thats why im going there..to find out."
Coffee Break for Two
Woke up in the morning, to a bright Sunday;
Took a bath, got dressed and went on my way;
At a distance you were there, and I don’t know why;
Suddenly I found myself, right there by your side.
Was it fate that led me there? ‘Cos it wasn’t my intention;
But I can say this for sure, it was divine intervention.
In that coffee break for two, I never thought it could be;
The two of us together, smiling happily;
I knew by your smile that you felt it too;
Something beautiful was starting, in that coffee break for two.
We found out as we talked, that we had a lot in common;
I prayed really hard that it would go on and on;
The conversation with you, it brought such joy;
Joy that I was certain, I never felt before.
Was it fate that led me there? ‘Cos it wasn’t my intention;
But I can say this for sure, it was divine intervention.
In that coffee break for two, I never thought it could be;
The two of us together, smiling happily;
I knew by your smile that you felt it too;
Something beautiful was starting, in that coffee break for two.
I kept thinking of you, as the days went on;
The events that transpired caused me great confusion;
It took prayer and supplication, to find a resolution;
Until that fateful day, when I found my reason.
Was it fate that led me there? ‘Cos it wasn’t my intention;
But I can say this for sure, it was divine intervention.
In that coffee break for two, I never thought it could be;
The two of us together, smiling happily;
I knew by your smile that you felt it too;
Something beautiful was starting, in that coffee break for two.
In that coffee break for two, I never thought it could be;
The two of us together, smiling happily;
I knew by your smile that you felt it too;
My forever started with you, in that coffee break for two.
Pagikot ng mundo
Repost from Multiply. Posted Jul 2, '08 4:52 PM
Minsan sana tumigil ang oras, kahit isang taon lang, na walang tatanda at walang prublema.
Pero, hindi nga naman natin mapapatigil ang oras. Ang magagawa lang natin ay harapin lahat ng prublema habang tayoy tumatanda.
Ang bilis lumipas ng panahon ano? Parang kahapon lang noong una tayong magkakilala.
Kung iisipin, ilang taon narin ang lumipas. Marami nang nangyari, at ang mga pagkakamali ay di na mailalagay sa tama.
Ngunit kahit ganun pa man, naging masaya din tayo minsan. Ang mga matatamis na alaala ang baon ko sa paglipas ng panahon.
Salamat at nakilala kita. Di kita malilimutan habang buhay. Maglaho man ako sa mundong ito.
Minsan sana tumigil ang oras, kahit isang taon lang, na walang tatanda at walang prublema.
Pero, hindi nga naman natin mapapatigil ang oras. Ang magagawa lang natin ay harapin lahat ng prublema habang tayoy tumatanda.
Ang bilis lumipas ng panahon ano? Parang kahapon lang noong una tayong magkakilala.
Kung iisipin, ilang taon narin ang lumipas. Marami nang nangyari, at ang mga pagkakamali ay di na mailalagay sa tama.
Ngunit kahit ganun pa man, naging masaya din tayo minsan. Ang mga matatamis na alaala ang baon ko sa paglipas ng panahon.
Salamat at nakilala kita. Di kita malilimutan habang buhay. Maglaho man ako sa mundong ito.
Once burned, twice shy
Repost from my mutiply blog. Entered Apr 4, '08 8:43 AM
All of us are afraid of getting hurt. It’s a natural reaction to get away from familiar situations that, in the past, caused us pain. We shun similar situations because we don’t want to get hurt anymore.
Loving someone is the best feeling in the world. It makes you feel like superman. Oftentimes than not, this love isn’t reciprocated. It is during these times that we get burned. You put your trust is someone only to get your heart broken in the end. It brings loneliness, despair, anger, and hate. You start questioning yourself, and you have this feeling of hopelessness. When the time comes to pick up the pieces and start over again, you become extra careful. You train yourself to see differences between the past and the present. You try to find that sign or something that may lead you back to getting hurt. We take lesser risks, we over analyze, we become overly cautious, and sometimes we just stay where we are – afraid to move because we might get hurt. Afraid to take risks, and letting opportunities pass.
I am afraid to get burned again. I already got burned many times. Yet against all logic and reason, I still hope. I still risk my heart even though I know it might not work. Why do I fear it too much, even though I already know what to do just in case I get burned again? Rejection is one of the things I am really afraid of. Maybe that’s why I haven’t made any move yet. Maybe that is why I am afraid to jump off this cliff, because there might be no one to catch me at the bottom. It’s going to hurt really bad if I hit the ground. I guess I just want to be sure before I take the plunge. Being sure isn’t bad. It just takes too much time, Time that should be spent on more worthwhile things…like living and getting burned. J
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