Still Got It

Mountaineering is one of my passions. If there was a way to make money out of climbing mountains, I may have swiched careers by now. Being engulfed in nature and the great outdoors is an indescribable feeling. For me who resides in a concrete jungle, its something different. Though i spent my younger years in the province, I was never really the outdoor type. For one, my parents were always protective of me and two, I was somewhat frail as a child. I experienced the outdoors in boyscout campings in elementary and highschool, but they were different than what I was really after. Of course I cannot discount the fact that being a boyscout gave me the basic idea of how to survive in the wild. I started over 2 years ago in this hobby and I haven's lost interest yet. In fact. I think its become an obsession. I have climbed two of the highest peaks in the Philippines, APO being the highest and Pulag being the third, and next year, I will probably be climbing the 2nd highest, Dulang-dulang.
I always end up digging through the internet about mountaineering gear, but I have, as of late, deviated from the production gears to the DIY. Nothing spells satisfaction for me than to be able to make my own gear. I have gathered a lot of info, saved a lot of files, made a lot of sketches and notes. Still I encounter a big problem on where to source my fabric. Of course one more question is, would it be cheaper to make my gear or just buy one. So far what I have suits my needs and has served me well. Only things missing are a camp stove and a tent. I have been experimenting on alcohol stoves, but they are still too slow and somewhat insuited for the type of meals I am used to. Alcohol stoves are not meant to cook for more than 2 people and I know for a fact that it will not be able to cook rice. It was meant only to boil water and cook those easy to cook meals. As for the tent, I want one with full protection since my greatest threat in the outdoors is rain. I have made my own designs in Sketchup, but havent really gone into making the actual tent simply because I want it done perfect the first time.

I am considering going lightweight in mountaineering. Of course, i will need to change my current backpack and go for an ultralight tent. I have considered using a tarp and bivy, but of course that offers little protection from a tropical cyclone. I have designed tarps with weather protection, but my designs seem lacking somewhat. I guess I haven't yet found the right balance between full protection and right ventilation. The last thing I want is to drown in my own sweat on a warm summer night, or get all wet in a storm and suffer hypothermia. Another thing I consider is the sleeping capacity. I am looking to design a 2-person shelter because I want to bring my girlfriend along in my hikes. A 1-person tent is also not that bad. I also have designs for those types and I was hoping to make one for my girlfriend as well. For those times when she goes on outings to remote places with her friends. As for the bag, I already have a few designs, but I have been simulating the process in my head and it seems more difficult to make than I imagined. My designs are simple, but with lots of options. Pockets are important to me for quick access so I have a design in mind where there are about 5 pockets. Thats a lot of space for small items, but I want my pack to be light since i will no longer be lugging a 2.4Kg tent if ever I decide to take the plunge and use a tarp.
There is much to consider about this obsession of mine- time, money, effort. Of course this is not the only thing I do. I have a job too so there is that to consider. I have to admit though, this is one obsession/addiction that is really hard to shake. Thats why after 2 years of hiking, i still got it.

You Are Important to Me

I thought I learned my lesson. I guess its true that people can't change on their own. I was very confident that I already know what to do in a relationship like this. I lost someone before, because i was too naive to notice something so obvious. I always expected her to be there and I neglected to make her feel important to me. It came to a point that I was no longer part of her world. I became just a memory. To her i was just a whisper in the wind. Before I knew it, she was already far away that no matter how hard I tried, my efforts to reach her were in vain and she was gone. Her words are still in my head, " I never felt important to you." I promised myself that I wouldn't make the same mistake again and for the longest time I was very confident that I learned my lesson.

Now I find myself in the same situation. Though I grew older, nothing changed. I guess you can say I didn't grow up. You were crying out for me, but I was never there to listen. Now fear has once again come to me, the fear that you might leave because you feel unimportant to me. Is it really too late? Can I no longer redeem myself and make up for the mistake? Losing you would be the greatest mistake. I would be the dumbest man alive if I ever let you slip away.
I want to listen to your stories. I want to know your pains and frustrations. I want to know what makes you happy and what makes you sad. I want to be able to solve your problems, or at least share your burden to carry it. I want to be able to carry you when you are down. I want to be the one to make you smile. I want to teach you how to play the guitar. I want to listen to your corny jokes and your cheesy one liners.

Its my turn to cry out for you. I just hope you can hear me. Don't give up on me, I am certain its you I need. It may be hard to believe me now, but I hope you open your heart to me, I hope you will listen...."You are important to me."

You Are Important to Me

I thought I learned my lesson. I guess its true that people can't change on their own. I was very confident that I already know what to do in a relationship like this. I lost someone before, because i was too naive to notice something so obvious. I always expected her to be there and I neglected to make her feel important to me. It came to a point that I was no longer part of her world. I became just a memory. To her i was just a whisper in the wind. Before I knew it, she was already far away that no matter how hard I tried, my efforts to reach her were in vain and she was gone. Her words are still in my head, " I never felt important to you." I promised myself that I wouldn't make the same mistake again and for the longest time I was very confident that I learned my lesson.
Now I find myself in the same situation. Though I grew older, nothing had changed. I guess you can say I didn't grow up. You were crying out for me, but I was never there to listen. Now fear has once again come to me, the fear that you might leave because you feel unimportant to me. Is it really too late? Can I no longer redeem myself and make up for the mistake? Losing you would be the greatest mistake. I would be the dumbest man alive if I ever let you slip away.
I want to listen to your stories. I want to know your pains and frustrations. I want to know what makes you happy and what makes you sad. I want to be able to solve your problems, or at least share your burden to carry it. I want to be able to carry you when you are down. I want to be the one to make you smile. I want to teach you how to play the guitar. I want to listen to your corny jokes and your cheesy one liners.

Its my turn to cry out for you. I just hope you can hear me. Don't give up on me, I am certain its you I need. It may be hard to believe me now, but I hope you open your heart to me, I hope you will listen...."You are important to me."