Social Life

Being distant and reclusive has always been part of me. Not that i dont like being around friends, but oftentimes I much rather be alone. I have found that I could think better when I'm alone. I could reflect on things that cross my mind and be able to, in a way, talk to myself. Don't worry, i don't suffer from multiple personality disorder. Its just that i can imagine myself reacting to the things i think about. Debating with myself helps me get another perspective on things without the aid of another person. Of course having someone else's view point is better, but I also don't like getting dictated on matters that i could decide on my own.

I have realized something lately, I dont have a social life outside my relatives and my church friends and i only get to be with friends on weekends. For most of the week, i go to work and spend most of my time locked up in the office with just a computer to interact with. Sometimes i even find myself getting annoyed by a simple hi or hello from officemates. I much rather they leave me alone. I do enjoy conversations sometimes, but its with people i can easily connect with. I have to say thats a very small group. I have done a pretty good job of keeping things to myself. the only time i can let things out is when i am with the people who i can trust with the things i say. People who can relate to the sometimes outrageous ideas and thoughts.

Seriously! If this goes on and on i might just one day pack up my stuff and go live in the mountains alone. I am thankful though....i still have friends whom i can just blurt out whats on my mind. I cant really put my thoughts here since that would just reveal how i think about humanity in general and i think that would be better in another blog entry.

29

A rush of memories fill my head
As the morning breaks and I get out of bed
I look at myself in the mirror, a lot has changed
"It doesn't matter", was all that I said.

The world will keep on turning,
Time will keep on moving
The memories will remain in the past
I can look to the future at last.

Its been a blast, one rockin good time
There were problems sure, but I have Joy inside
Twenty eight was great, but I have to cross the line
I know everything will be fine......now at twenty nine.

Don't know...

There are a lot of things in my mind. Mostly about what to do....about my life, the future, things that I want to do, but cant seem to start. I'm getting old and until now I haven't yet established myself in this world. I guess I wont be able to. Afterall I'm just a pilgrim here. I cant understand what my mind wants. I get obsessed with every new and interesting idea. I remember the time when I was obsessed with mushrooms...I wanted to grow my own mushrooms, but I didn't. Then I was obsessed with knife making. I was able to maintain my interest in knives up until now. I still make a few. Then I realised I cant really make a living out of being a knife maker. I was also obsessed with 3 wheelers, but of course I couldn't make one. It was a far fetched dream. I'm still interested in mountaineering. Making my own gear was also an obsession, but I put it on hold for more important things. Making my own gear will follow. I still do research every now and then and I still plan on becoming a minimalist.

Right now I am interested in barefoot running and was thinking of making my own huaraches - Mexican style sandals with very thin soles. I figured, hey! maybe I can make money out of this here in the Philippines. Oh well, then again maybe not. If I could train in huaraches, maybe I could mountaineer with it. Barefoot mountaineering. Sounds cool. I think its a great idea. Only problem now is how to sell it. "The benefits of being barefoot." Then I could get in touch with the owner of invisibleshoe then we can maybe start a deal where I can retail his products here in the country. Sounds very nice, but I don't have a financial backer. oh well, another idea on hold until someone goes ahead with it and I end up envying them because they made a lot of money out of it. sheesh!

I don't want to be an employee all my life. I want to start a lucrative business and take care of my family personally. Live a simple life where all members of the family are happy. I wonder when....don't know.