Vegan Parmesan Cheese Alternative

Hello. I have been cooking pasta for a while and have become a fan of parmesan for use in my recipes instead of regular grated cheddar cheese. As you all know, parmesan cheese is a bit expensive here and I have been looking for alternatives to this flavorful pasta topping. After much researching, I have found a vegan alternative to parmesan. Its quite convenient actually because my girlfriend is vegan and the ingredients are not as expensive compared to the same volume of parmesan. Anyway, here is the recipe. I haven't tried it yet, but it looks promising. I will try this on my next pasta dish.
Parmesan Cheese Alternative
1 c sesame seeds
1/2 c savory yeast flakes
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp salt
Lightly toast seeds in a dry pan. When cool whizz all ingredients in a blender.
Use as you would the non-vegan cheese.
Copied from http://valitaskitchen.blogspot.com/2008/09/parmesan-alternative-dairy-free.html

Calm words can really pacify a bad situation

Commuting everyday is no big deal for the likes of me. For someone who doesn't own a car, much less know how to drive, this is the way to get around. I've seen people slug it out in their seats just because its so cramped that sometimes you accidentally or at times intentionally push your seatmate against the bus walls just to get a seat.
Buses here or at least the ones they call "japayuki bus" (discarded buses from japan from decades long past), are modified to have a row of 3 seaters on the drivers side and 2 seaters on the other. If you tried commuting on these japayuki buses, you will notice how notoriously small the spaces are in between seats, not only that, the 3 seater?....well, its like a 2 seater with three headrests. the one seated along the aisle has only a portion of his butt on the seat. Talk about paying in full when barely half of your ass is even seated.
Anyway, so the same scene plays on every time I take the bus. When I travel alone, I usually take the 2 seaters and sit window side. This morning, I decided to sit at the 3 seaters just because the bus is almost full. Somehow, i found myself in the middle of the 3 seater. On my left was a lady, and a guy sat at my right side. I felt like the tuna in a tuna sandwich. I thought to myself, "it coudln't get any worse that this." To my surprise, the guy started pushing me and so, to avoid any unnecessary pain, i moved a bit closer to the lady, who was already pinned to the wall. I thought the worse has passed, but the guy kept pushing every few seconds. I tried to ignore him, but I noticed the lady to me left was already agitated. I started getting a bit agitated as well. I was already considering the possibility of poking the guy's eyes out with my thumb. I was sizing him up and he was larger than me. I tried going through the possible scenarios if ever things get heated up.
I remember Joy telling me to calm down. I guess this means her constant reminders are getting through. I decided then to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down and to clear my mind. I knew it was unwise to push back, but I didn't want the lady to my left to get angry either. I knew I had to tell the guy to stop pushing somehow. I knew an apologetic approach was one way to pacify any anger he had.
With my butt starting to get numb and my hands starting to tire because of my awkward position, I calmly told him, "Pasensiya ka na sir. Masikip po talaga ang upuan natin e." Somehow, he calmed down and stopped pushing at me. "Whew! what a relief." But then the lady on my left told the guy, "kung ayaw mo.....sumakay ka sa ibang bus." In my mind I said, "Holy crap lady! Why the hell did you say that? I already neutralized the situation." Fortunately, the guy didn't hear her.
After that, the ride got a bit better despite still feeling like a tuna in a sandwich. As the bus unloaded passengers at the first stop, things got more comfortable as the guy was able to find another seat. I told the lady, "sorry about that.", but she pretended not to hear me. I felt much better when I got off the bus and started my walk to my office.
As I was walking, I had a chance to reflect at what just transpired in the bus. I was glad things turned out ok. I uttered a short sigh of relief and thanked God.
I didn't have to poke someones eyes out afterall.

Suicidal Tendencies

Let me share to you an article by Pastor Doug Bachelor regarding suicide or self destruction. I found this on page 9 of "Amazing Facts Inside Report: Trees of Life and Death" Aug, 2000. The section is entitled Bible Answers

In Matthew 4:6, did Satan tempt Christ to commit suicide?

The verse reads,“And [the devil] saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is

written,He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest

at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone” (Matthew 4:6).

The three temptations Jesus faced encompass every temptation that any of us face. We find in 1 John 2:16 that there are three basic temptations: lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and pride of life. Eve and Adam fell in those three areas; Christ overcame in those same three areas. We’re all tempted by those three things.

The devil tempts each of us with self-destruction, which is the temptation described in Matthew 4:6. Before I was a Christian, I toyed with suicide quite a bit. Without God, life has no purpose. Suicide, for the non-Christian, is logical thinking. If there’s no God, no purpose, no eternity, and if people are unhappy most of the time, then what’s the sense in living?

The Christian, on the other hand, realizes that suicide does not usher anyone into a better dimension, but instead permanently seals any bad circumstances.

If you’re struggling, suicide doesn’t make it better. Suicide seals it forever. There’s no reversing those bad circumstances.

Generally speaking, suicide is the last resort of a person who is in a faithless and hopeless condition. When such a person kills himself, all he has to look forward to is the resurrection of the damned. His next conscious thought is not a better one, but a worse one. The biggest lie of all is that suicide is going to be an escape. The Bible says sin is a transgression of God’s law, and one of those commandments says, “Thou shalt not kill [murder]” (Exodus20:13).  That would include killing yourself.

Having said this, let me hasten to add that we must be careful not to automatically assume that all persons who have committed suicide will be lost. We may be surprised to find some in the kingdom who ended their own lives when they were not in their right minds due to unusual circumstances such as mental illness, chemical imbalance, or excruciating physical pain. We can trust God, who looks on the heart, to judge fairly in these cases.

Our lives are a sacred gift from God. The devil is using a lot of methods today to tempt people to selfdestruction. Sometimes people commit suicide quickly; some do it by degrees through drugs, selfabuse, or cigarettes.

As long as you’re a Christian, you’ve got hope—of new life, a new body, and eternal life. Just read your Bible and keep claiming God’s promises. He’ll get you through it.

Malunggay: The tree of life....almost

I was a bit confused last Sabbath about the Malunggay tree being the Horseradish vegetable. I tried researching and apparently, Horseradish is a different plant. It seems my hunch wash right afterall...there is no way that our beloved malunggay is the horseradish. I tried researching some more and apparently, I was also wrong. The malungay that grows almost everywhere in this country of ours, is in fact called the horseradish tree. It could be used as a substitute for horseradish and therefore can be used to make wasabi and kim chi. I also found out a few interesting things about this plant.
1. It can grow almost anywhere, except in freezing lands.
2. It needs little maintenance since it loves the sun and warm weather.
3. All parts of the plant can be used in some way, from food to textile dyes and even poison.
4. Its nutritional value is so high [leaves] that it is one of the answers to malnutrition in third world countries.
5. Its leaves don't lose its nutrients even of dried and ground to powder.
6. Its seeds can be roasted like nuts and is believed to be a virility drug.
7. The plant can be used in water filtration and is a cheap alternative for mechanical filtration.
That's not all, in some countries its used to feed livestock. Personally, I'd rather eat the plant myself than feed it to livestock. In the tagalog region, only the leaves are known to be edible, in the ilocano region however, even the fruit is eaten. The fruit is usually peeled, cut to 3 inch sticks, and cooked in dinengdeng with other vegetables. The leaves are boiled and eaten as a salad in the morning.
After I found out that you can grind the dried leaves to powder, I realized it can be stored indefinitely as survival food. Just add boiling water and you have a soup. Nice huh?
If it wasn't for the Varona's, I would never have known that malunggay, a commonly ignored vegetable tree, could be the answer to our health problems. Mabuhay ang Malunggay!

Leave Me Alone!!

I prefer eating alone at work. I often wait for all the people to finish eating in our pantry before I take my turn to eat. I enjoy staying alone in the dim light of the pantry with nothing but the airconditioning humming in the background. Every once in a while people enter the pantry to do their dishes. While they are in there I chant in my head, "Please don't talk to me....Please don't talk to me....Please don't talk to me....Please don't talk to me." I sigh in relief if they don't utter a word. I don't like people asking what I am eating or commenting on what I am eating. It just ruins the moment. The moment I so patiently waited for to eat alone. I don't exactly know why, but I prefer it that way. When they ask me anything while I am eating, i just answer casually with the shortest answer i could give.The only time I really entertain a conversation is when I am with the people I am comfortable with.
When things get a bit rowdy (when more than one person enters the pantry and they decide to have a conversation and laugh....etc.) I chant to myself, "LEAVE ME ALONE!....LEAVE ME ALONE!....LEAVE ME ALONE!....LEAVE ME ALONE!....LEAVE ME ALONE!....LEAVE ME ALONE!....LEAVE ME ALONE!....LEAVE ME ALONE!....LEAVE ME ALONE!....LEAVE ME ALONE!....LEAVE ME ALONE!....LEAVE ME ALONE!....LEAVE ME ALONE!....." until they eventually leave. Unknown to them they have ruined my lunch break. So, i finish up as fast as I can to avoid further disturbances. If I couldn't wait for the people in the pantry to finish, I just eat at my desk. Then again, even at my desk, people still bother me while eating.
I also chant, "LEAVE ME ALONE!" when i don't want to talk to anyone and they are constantly asking me questions about whether or not i ate already. I also want to be left alone when I watch my anime during lunch break. So please.....LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!

When The Clock Stops Ticking

As the Mahogany trees shed their leaves, he bid farewell to the world of the living. he has finally come to rest after many years of pain. He fulfilled his purpose in this earth with utmost zealousness. I have never met anyone like him and i doubt i will ever again be able to meet anyone like him in this lifetime.
He is a popular artist in our hometown, inventor, craftsman, servant of God. A loving husband, good father, the best grandfather, a great friend. He was a genius. His level of intelligence i can only dream of attaining. His memory, so sharp, he rarely forgot anything. In spite of all these, he was a humble person. Everyone knew him as a gentle and jolly man - one who rarely gets angry. He believed that every conflict can be solved by kind words and earnest prayers.
When i was born, he was one of the happiest people to welcome me into existence. I can imagine the tears he shed when he heard me cry. Those tears were both tears of joy and sadness. Tears of joy for having a grandson, tears of sadness because i wasn’t normal - i had a gaping hole right under my left nostril. My parents cried for me because i might not be able to speak normally. Despite all the uncertainties, they had me fixed. During my operations i know he prayed for me.
As i returned home, he wasted no time teaching me to speak. He told everyone, "I will never stop until he speaks perfectly." He took care of me when my parents were at work. He taught me how to sing, he even made me memorize the cabinet members at that time. I grew up in his house with him as my mentor. He gave me toys that he himself made. Being the inventor that he was, this was no big task. He made those toys with things found around the house. I was so happy whenever he emerged from his shop holding a new gadget for me. Growing up in his house made me his favorite grandson.
He suffered a stroke when i was about to enter grade school. He never recovered from it. This, however, did not hinder him from his duties to the Lord. His mind was still as sharp as ever. I enjoyed talking to him more than playing my Nintendo Family Computer. He was ans still is my inspiration in attaining a higher level of intelligence, though i may not attain his level.
When he passed away, i knew my life would never be the same again. I had hoped to show him my achievements. I wanted to show him my future wife and i wanted him to hold his great grandson from me, but this is no longer possible for he has now gone to his rest. But this is not the end, i know for sure he will rise again on the second coming, for her is the most faithful man i have ever known. One who has experienced miracles in his life, and a lot of them for that matter. Like the mahogany tree that lost its leaves, i know new ones will sprout in its place..its just a matter of time.
I can proudly put him at par with the greatest minds this world has ever produced. But one thing he had more than them is his faith in God. His ideals in faith will live on in me. This will be my tribute to him. By God’s grace, i will do all i can to live as he showed me, and to pass his teachings to the generations that come after me.
"Daddy, I will see you soon on that bright morning when Jesus returns."
A tribute to the greatest man i have ever known - Otilio A. Manzano Sr.

Teleporter (Repost from my Friendster blog)

"Are you running away from someone?"
"Something"
"Your Past?"
"My present."
"Where are you going?"
"To the future."
"Why? What’s in the future?"
"I dont know. Thats why im going there..to find out."

Love Letters

We were watching TV last night when Da changed the channel to Arirang. For those of you who do not know, Arirang is a Korean channel. Da has been working with Koreans for quite a while now hence the influence on him. It the time, Arirang, was airing a music video with a guy writing a love letter to a girl. It was artistically made and placed in an envelope with a stamped wax seal. As the girl pulled the letter out, she just saw a blank piece of paper. She didn't know what to do with it at first until a drop of dew hit the paper, revealing part of the invisible message. Then the girl started crying for some reason, further dampening the letter and revealing the rest of the message as she cried her eyes out. Then, cut!!!!!!!
I was brought back to the time when I was enthusiastic about writing love letters. It was something I was proud of doing during my younger years. The last time I was enthusiastic with writing love letters was about 4 or 5 years ago. Little did I know, the love letters I made with all my heart was for the wrong person. Its weird what a few years can do to a person. After my realization that all those letters I wrote were for nothing, I lost the drive to write such things. It just stopped. Its as if I already wrote everything I could in a love letter that there is nothing new to write. Only empty promises and endless I love you's that fade away as the invisible ink on that love letter in the music video. I'm not quite sure, but I get scared sometimes to write the same words of love and devotion over and over again for someone just to find out in the end that it was all a lie. I will be careful in writing my next love letter. Maybe, hopefully, the next love letter I'll write will be read by my own lips....and spoken to the one I'll spend the rest of my life with.....on my wedding day.

The last laugh

Have you ever seen the Batman laugh? Most of us probably haven't seen the caped crusader laugh. You may say, Bruce Wayne laughs. Batman and Bruce Wayne are the same and different at the same time. Bruce Wayne is seen as a flamboyant, billionaire playboy, while the batman is dead serious and downright scary. If Bruce laughs its doesn't count as Batman's laugh.
There are only two instances i know of where the Batman, whether it be Bruce under the cowl or not, really had a good laugh. Do you know who made the batman laugh? I bet you do, but first, let me tell you a joke.
"See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend daredn't make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
Did you find the joke funny?
In most of the media where batman appears in, he doesn't laugh. The guy has no sense of humor. As Terry McGinnis puts it, "He wouldn't know a good joke if it bit him in the cape." Of course there is always a first time. If your answer as to who made the batman laugh is the Joker, how right you are. Who would be better at making the Batman laugh other than the Joke, right? I'm sure you found the joke above rather simple. Personally I didn't find it funny at all and to think a lame joke would make the batman laugh like a mad man, but the joker made the batman laugh with that joke. This is the first and only instance where Bruce Wayne as Batman laughed. You can read about this if you own the comic book, "The Killing Joke."
That's not the only instance The Batman laughed. I did mention a while back that i know of two instances where Batman laughed at the Joker. The 2nd one is Terry McGinnis as the Batman, when he laughed at the joker, not because he told a joke, but because Terry thought he was lame and pathetic. For those of you who don't know Terry, he is the new batman. Forty or so years in the future, Bruce Wayne got old and due to certain circumstances, a young boy named Terry McGinnis became Gotham's new protector. In this story, joker is long gone. Killed by an unstable Tim Drake (3rd robin, Jason Todd was the 2nd Robin, for a short time, and was killed by the Joker), after the joker captured and tortured him. Tim Drake was eventually helped back to sanity, but unknown to everyone, the joker implanted his consciousness in a microchip and placed it in Tim Drakes neck. This allowed the joker to occupy Tim Drakes body at will, even altering Tim Drake's appearance to look like the Joker's old self. As Batman (Terry) faces of with the Joker, occupying Tim Drake's body, one last time, Batman finds himself at the losing end. With Joker in Tim's body, he is able to fight the Batman with expert martial arts techniques. Its is here that Batman asks Bruce tips in fighting the joker. Bruce tells batman that the joker is vein and likes to talk and instructs him to block it all out and power on through. Instead of taking Bruce's advice, Batman starts talking to the joker which irritates the clown. Batman then gets a good laugh out of taunting the joker to the point of panic. "I'll laugh not because you're funny, but because i think you're kinda pathetic". Making the long story short, Batman was able to defeat the joker by destroying the chip on Tim's neck.
There you have it. The Joker made Batman laugh twice. First with Bruce Wayne, the original Batman, and second with Terry McGinnis, the new Batman.
By the way, if you've watched The Dark Knight, imagine Heath Ledger, as the Joker, telling the joke above to the Batman, Christian Bale. Do you think the Batman would laugh?

I like the smell of Bleach

Beach is a very common household cleaning agent that's been around for a while now. People born before the mid 90's know it as Clorox. Now, however, it is now known by the name Zonrox. Both Clorox and Zonrox are actually brand names of bleach. The only use of bleach i know of from back in the day was for stain removal. It is harsh on the hands and leaves an indescribably unique smell. Back in the day when we didn't have washing machines, we had to touch the bleach in order to apply it to the stain. In some cases we leave the whites to soak in soap water with bleach for about a day to remove those stains that cannot be rubbed of by hand washing.
While surfing the internet a while back, i discovered another use for bleach. Apparently, it can be used to make designs in dark-dyed fabric. Since bleach is used to remove stains, imagine the dye on your black shirt as a stain. Apply bleach and your get a white spot. That's right! Bleach eats the dye of most cotton or cotton-blend fabrics around. Now, making a stencil, put it on the shirt, get a spray bottle, fill it with bleach, and spray on the stencil. The holes on the stencil will allow bleach to make contact with the fabric, leaving you with a bleached design literally tattooed on your shirt. You can never remove the design...not unless you bleach the whole shirt white.
I tried doing shirt designs with bleach, made a few mistakes here and there, but generally, the designs were works of art in their own right. This project of mine was put on hold until recently. Now, i think i will restart my bleach designs again. Seeing that clothes are a need of humans and of course, who wouldn't want a radical shirt that has a permanent design on it?
I have developed a bit of tolerance to the smell of bleach and I have come to know the unique smell of it. In the following weeks, i might post some of my shirts here. I will be putting my knives project on hold for a while since i lost most of my research on knives because my portable drive got busted.

Batman vs. Joker: When an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

What will happen when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? Total entertainment!
But seriously, in terms of physics, what will happen? I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. I know you can derive a lot of metaphors from phychology to thermodynamics. Post away!

Lost technology

Growing up in the house of an artist/inventor is great. I remember when I was a kid, I would enter his workplace and watch him paint, sometimes welding stuff, sometimes pounding on something. It was amazing to watch him working with tools that he himself made to make a specific task much easier. I remember one contraption of his that simply amazed me. It was a gasoline welder. That's right! A gasoline fueled welder. I didn't get to see much of the details of the thing, but what i do remember is that most of its parts are made of bronze. Its nozzle was actually from an old machine gun bullet casing. A .50 calibre shell casing from the 2nd world war. it had a rubber hose connected to a metal container that is made out of a spent bomb shell casing. it was rather large and heavy. This is where the gasoline was poured. The gas tank is then connected to an air compressor. A regulator is used to control the air pressure. When the uses the welder, he lights up the nozzle just like you would on an acetylene welder. he carefully controls the airflow with two air valved on the welder. In no time, a blue beam of flame would appear on the nozzle. Although it couldn't be as hot as an acetylene welder, you could make it hot enough to melt bronze. And if you think about it, its fuel is just a pint of regular gasoline as compared to an expensive acetylene welder with 2 high pressure tanks of acetylene and oxygen. Pretty much inexpensive to operate and downright cheap to make as most of its parts are from recycled bronze tubes and WW2 shell casings.
I came home one time to find out that a certain family member took the welder. And knowing who took it, got me really worried. By now the welder would have been destroyed and or sold or given away to someone. The one who took it had no respect for those kind of stuff. Things he borrows and takes literally get destroyed due to utter carelessness. This actually led me to believe that he had no respect toward the owner/maker. I could go on and on about this person, but that wont bring back what is lost.
The artist died 2 years ago and the technology died with him. I didn't get the chance to study his invention to have it patented and replicated so that his legacy will live on through me. I know the basics of how his invention worked, but the details of it have eluded me. How i wish the artist was still alive. I have so many questions to ask him. I want his legacy to live on, and i want to take that responsibility. I am but his grandson, but i believe he would have wanted me to take care of his inventions.

Home has R&R written all over it

Its true. For someone who is away from home most of the year, home is definitely the best R&R spot in the world. The smell of the familiar air, the site of familiar faces and scenes, the sound of the birds chirping in the morning, the warm sun, the cold rain in the afternoon, the cool breeze at night, ...there is no place like home. Oh yeah, the feel of my own bed, the ambiance of my own room, the smell of my old clothes..... Aaaahhh!
Going home for me is a priviledge. Yup i went home during the lenten season and it was great! Although i wish i had more time to spend at home. I once again had the chance to rumage around my old stuff that some people may consider junk, but they are my treasures. My room is full of stuff people would generally throw away. I have old coins, old books, old magazines, old wooden boxes, old clothes, peices of paper that are older than me. Things that remind me of the things past especially my childhood and of course stuff that remind me of my late grandfather. He is the source of most of the old stuff in me room. I keep his old cameras, air brushes, pantographs, some of his old paintings, etc. I have enough stuff to make a small museum and all of these are stuffed in my room. It makes me sad sometimes to think i no longer live in our house and no longer sleep in my own room. I can imagine my room when i am not in it and its just a sad sight. Its green walls seem lifeless and void. My mom probably changes the bedsheets still even though no one is going to sleep on my bed. Its always ready should i return home at anytime.
Being the computer geek of the family, the first thing my parents make me do is fix the computer. Reformat and reinstall, remove viruses and stuff. After that, i have all the time going through my old stuff and just be lazy. Spend time with my siblings, my cousins, "pamangkins", and some friends.
Did i mention the food? Heaven!!!! nothing beats food from my own home. Of course i may be a bit biased since thats my home i'm talking about.

Coffee Break for Two

Woke up in the morning, to a bright Sunday;

Took a bath, got dressed and went on my way;

At a distance you were there, and I don’t know why;

Suddenly I found myself, right there by your side.

Was it fate that led me there? ‘Cos it wasn’t my intention;

But I can say this for sure, it was divine intervention.

In that coffee break for two, I never thought it could be;

The two of us together, smiling happily;

I knew by your smile that you felt it too;

Something beautiful was starting, in that coffee break for two.

We found out as we talked, that we had a lot in common;

I prayed really hard that it would go on and on;

The conversation with you, it brought such joy;

Joy that I was certain, I never felt before.

Was it fate that led me there? ‘Cos it wasn’t my intention;

But I can say this for sure, it was divine intervention.

In that coffee break for two, I never thought it could be;

The two of us together, smiling happily;

I knew by your smile that you felt it too;

Something beautiful was starting, in that coffee break for two.

I kept thinking of you, as the days went on;

The events that transpired caused me great confusion;

It took prayer and supplication, to find a resolution;

Until that fateful day, when I found my reason.

Was it fate that led me there? ‘Cos it wasn’t my intention;

But I can say this for sure, it was divine intervention.

In that coffee break for two, I never thought it could be;

The two of us together, smiling happily;

I knew by your smile that you felt it too;

Something beautiful was starting, in that coffee break for two.

In that coffee break for two, I never thought it could be;

The two of us together, smiling happily;

I knew by your smile that you felt it too;

My forever started with you, in that coffee break for two.

Return to the Kubo of the Knowledge of Good and Evil

Walking through the gates of Montreal Garden Resort brought back memories. Memories of events that happened a year ago in the same place. I noticed the minor changes to the place, but it still looked pretty much the same. The furniture, the ambiance, the wishing well, the rooms, the pool, and the kubo.
I was part of the first batch to participate in the Youth Ministries Singles Retreat last year. I was quite apprehensive about the thought of me being a participant. I was always used to being the facilitator and not the participant. Another reason was because i didn't see the point of it all. I was, at the time, courting a girl from the south. To attend a singles retreat, for me, would mean i wasn't serious about her and that meant betrayal in my book. I tried to have as much fun as I could, but most of the time i preferred being alone. Detaching myself from everyone was my rebellious cry against the system that put me where i truly believed i didn't belong to. I never thought that my actions would catch the attention of anyone. I was confident that i was cruising in stealth mode, far beyond the range of anyone's radar. I was dead wrong.
Waking up on the last day of the retreat, gave me confidence that i have eluded everyone. My plan for the day was set; avoid everyone by looking around for scorpions. I had it all pictured in my head, play a few games with the participants then go directly to the pool to cool off. Again, my plan failed. I'm not a morning person, but on that Sunday morning i was up early. i even took a bath and dressed up for a rugged day. In my head i kept saying to myself, "Dont talk to anyone! You woke up to look for scorpions." As i walked past the dining hall and about to cross the bridge, my concentration was broken. Someone was standing at the entrance to the hall. She was alone, drinking coffee. A force drew me to her, and before i knew it, i was already asking if i could join her. There goes my "look for scorpions day."
Our conversation was somewhat unorthodox for two people who barely know each other. She describes it as a history lecture because i was constantly babbling about my home town. Our conversation shifted to translating words to our native dialects. Words such as love, i miss you, will you marry me, ...etc. Our conversation was interrupted by the call for the morning devotional. As we made our way to the morning worship, i thought to myself, "Bitin! oh well, i probably wont get another chance to talk to her."
After the morning breakfast, i went for my usual solitary walk. I was enjoying the view when suddenly, there she was, walking at a distance. I tried to catch her attention by clapping, but she didn't seem to notice me. I followed her, and found her by the bahay kubo. The magic that started during the morning coffee continued at the kubo.
I was assigned to organize the 2nd batch. It was my turn to be the facilitator. The planning and preparation was very stressful. It was frustrating especially because there were very few participants this time around. The guys outnumbered the girls by three, and our female facilitators had to fill in the blanks. My brain was on overdrive in all the activities. I'm pretty sure my blood pressure was high during the retreat. I kept wondering if the same magic that happened last year would also happen to a lucky couple this year.
The magic came about a bit earlier than expected. The same as the magic in the past retreat, it happened like clock work. Perfect timing after perfect timing. I can truly say the hand of the Lord was directing it all. At one point i was actually afraid that people might think I set it all up...that the whole thing was rigged, but there was no human intervention. I believe it was divine intervention.
At the last hours of the retreat, Joy and I reminisced at the events of the year that passed and how it all started in Montreal at the kubo of the knowledge of good and evil.
I am glad that this year God once again blessed us with new relationships and new friends. We are fortunate to be witnesses to a new relationship that blossomed during this retreat. By the way, the kubo of the knowledge of good and evil has been superceeded by the pool of bethesda. I wonder whats next....garden of gethsemane perhaps?

Choco Mallows and my eventual sadness

As a child i grew up where stuff like Choco Mallows were not your average candy in the store. They were extra special and we don't get them often. A box would last for 3 days to a week. It was a real treat. A box contained 6 biscuits topped with a large, half-moon shaped, marshmallow, and covered in chocolate. I remember the joy I felt when i peeled off the foil wrapper gently; making sure the foil doesn't tear apart. The suspense mounts as little by little, the brown treasure within the silver shell reveals itself. I remember i used to eat it from top to bottom. I'd dig my teeth into the mallows first, and finish it off with a crunch on the biscuit.
For the sake of travelling back to those memories, i bought myself a box just now. To my shock and dismay, i saw 6 small choco mallows in the box. The wrapper clearly too big for the treasure within. I was sure the box didnt change, but the contents sure did. The mallows have suddenly shrunk to 3/4 its original size. Not to be subdued by the shocking revelation, i picked one up, gently peeled away the silver foil, making sure not to tear it. The once great choco mallow was now just three quarters of its former self. I munched it down in three bites. The taste sure hasnt changed. It tasted like 20 or so years ago, when mom would come home from work with a box of choco mallows just for me.
Sadness overcame me when i looked inside the box and saw the remaining five, peculiarly small choco mallows. I thought to myself, "Times sure have changed. Some things cant be brought back the way they were. I would hate to see the day that choco mallows would just be the size of peanuts."